corporate speak translation challenge

hey, gang. i’ve had to try to appear busier than usual at work lately.

I received this from my boss, addressed to the 5 person management team:

“I’d venture to say right now some of the reps are unclear on what to do for their sales audits. Do we have written procedures on how to complete a sales audit? If so, we can present to the team and enact this rule. If not, let’s get them together and move forward. This needs to be done prior to the new incentive so everyone can hit the ground running.”
translation in black- use your Yes/Know invisible ink pen to reveal the correct answer:
Frank, write up procedures for how to do sales audits and train everyone.

I find this kind of indirect communication maddening and this is a 2 on a scale of 1-10 of how vague communications usually are. It’s frustrating when suggestions are just thrown out there when they really mean “please do this”.

I hate the BS fake teams that corporations try to present as an operating model. That squishy “we” concept seems to create the most problems- is this task to be done by me or in collaboration with others?

whew, i feel a little better.

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