Archive for the i am endlessly fascinating Category

corporate speak translation challenge

Posted in i am endlessly fascinating, i'm as mad as hell and i'm not going to take this anymore on November 4, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

hey, gang. i’ve had to try to appear busier than usual at work lately.

I received this from my boss, addressed to the 5 person management team:

“I’d venture to say right now some of the reps are unclear on what to do for their sales audits. Do we have written procedures on how to complete a sales audit? If so, we can present to the team and enact this rule. If not, let’s get them together and move forward. This needs to be done prior to the new incentive so everyone can hit the ground running.”
translation in black- use your Yes/Know invisible ink pen to reveal the correct answer:
Frank, write up procedures for how to do sales audits and train everyone.

I find this kind of indirect communication maddening and this is a 2 on a scale of 1-10 of how vague communications usually are. It’s frustrating when suggestions are just thrown out there when they really mean “please do this”.

I hate the BS fake teams that corporations try to present as an operating model. That squishy “we” concept seems to create the most problems- is this task to be done by me or in collaboration with others?

whew, i feel a little better.

MK Ultra reunion photos

Posted in how much art can you take?, i am endlessly fascinating, punk rock on October 26, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

My bud Jenn Leis has posted some artsy undt fartsy photos of the MK Ultra reunion show in Chicago earlier this month here

There is inexplicably yet another new band called MK Ultra (there are several before and after us, I guess. We received a nice cease and desist letter from John Vanderslice years ago and complied mostly) We’re not responsibly for their dumbass graffiti.

The reunion show was very successful, blah blah blah

Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra "Some Velvet Morning"

Posted in American music, i am endlessly fascinating on October 22, 2009 by All Conference Vintage
Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood
by scootaway

you know what? this week has sucked. how abouta real feel bad song.

i had a dream about Inglourious Basterds

Posted in badassery, Francophilia, i am endlessly fascinating, movies on October 8, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

… I had a dream that I bought Shosanna’s (Melanie Laurent) hat from this movie on eBay. No more vanilla ice cream before bed.

MK Ultra reunion surveillance footage

Posted in i am endlessly fascinating, punk rock on October 6, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

Noted agitators of the old guard, MK Ultra, surfaced again this past weekend in Chicago, signaled the alarm to sleeper cells, and faded again into the shadows.

Friday feelgood song of the week: "Save it for later" by the English Beat (1982)

Posted in Anglophilia, dames, Friday feel good songs, i am endlessly fascinating on September 4, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

I was kind of forced to like the English Beat by all of the girls I’ve ever had a crush on. There was never a girl in junior high or the drama club in high school who didn’t like the English Beat and have a t-shirt or button of theirs. So I kinda forced myself to like them. But this is a great song and reminds me of those girls.

strange things

Posted in i am endlessly fascinating on August 25, 2009 by All Conference Vintage

I keep having extremely violent dreams lately. Three nights in a row. I prefer my usual hypersexual dreams. This is wearing me out. So far I have beat up my friends, shot to death hitmen sent to kill me, driven a car into pedestrians, fought the cops, hit someone with a shovel, and kicked defeated pugilists in the face.